What does Bailout mean? Learn Financial jargon in a funny way.

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

What is Bailout? – An easy explanation is originally published by Vijay For Victory

All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time.

He cracked the same joke again and again, when there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said, “When you can’t laugh on the same joke again and again, then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again”

‘Learn to move on’…!!!!

Photo credit : Smiling Baby

How to handle your worries in the life? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

How to achieve happiness forever? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’

The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’

‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked

‘Yes,’ he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’

The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’

The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

Story telling

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of ‘Chicken Little’ to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ‘… and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’

The teacher paused then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that farmer said?’

One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ’Holy shit! A talking chicken!”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Image Credit : basheem 

Heights of innocence is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’

‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay-check on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Source: Read somewhere in net

Is Computer Male or Female? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?” Holmes asked.

Watson pondered for a minute and replied,

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a moment, then spoke. “Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!”

via Antz

Just Fun – Sherlock Holmes is originally published by Vijay For Victory

How to behave with your parents when they are old is one of my favourite stories. I just happened to see the video version of this. Hence sharing…

I hope you like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o

How to behave with your parents – Touching short film is originally published by Vijay For Victory

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and loose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he has about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

The silent treatment by a husband and wife is originally published by Vijay For Victory

The wife sighs and gets him a cup of coffee.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me some snacks before it starts.”

She looks cross, but takes some snacks from refrigerator and slams it down next to him.

He finishes the snacks and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me something to eat, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Eat and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

Get me something before it starts is originally published by Vijay For Victory

In the morning they thought of a plan.

They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the dean said, they could have the re-test after 3 days.

They thanked him and said that, they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the dean. The Dean said that, as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

Click here for the question paper

1) Your Name (2 MARKS)
2) Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right

The importance of Planning is originally published by Vijay For Victory