You should never give up is originally published by Vijay For Victory

All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time.

He cracked the same joke again and again, when there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said, “When you can’t laugh on the same joke again and again, then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again”

‘Learn to move on’…!!!!

Photo credit : Smiling Baby

How to handle your worries in the life? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

How to achieve happiness forever? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’

The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’

‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked

‘Yes,’ he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’

The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’

The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

Story telling

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of ‘Chicken Little’ to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ‘… and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’

The teacher paused then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that farmer said?’

One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ’Holy shit! A talking chicken!”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Image Credit : basheem 

Heights of innocence is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’

‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay-check on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Source: Read somewhere in net

Is Computer Male or Female? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

How to behave with your parents when they are old is one of my favourite stories. I just happened to see the video version of this. Hence sharing…

I hope you like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o

How to behave with your parents – Touching short film is originally published by Vijay For Victory

In the morning they thought of a plan.

They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the dean said, they could have the re-test after 3 days.

They thanked him and said that, they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the dean. The Dean said that, as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

Click here for the question paper

1) Your Name (2 MARKS)
2) Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right

The importance of Planning is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do, said the Doctor, “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“John, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!”

Moral of the story : The problem may not be with the other person as we always think, could be very much within us!

Whose problem is this? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

“So, you would like to interview me?” GOD asked.

“If you have time,” I said.

GOD smiled. “My time is eternity, what questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you the most about humankind?”

GOD answered…

“That they get bored with childhood that they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money; and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they would never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

I just woke up and opened my eyes…..

An interview with God – A wake up call is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.

Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to his mind.

He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather’s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed.  Now, very convinced of his grandfather’s idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said…..

Guess what???

…”You think only you have a grandfather !!!???“

Are you the only person? is originally published by Vijay For Victory