Vijay For Victory

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and loose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he has about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a cup of coffee before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a cup of coffee.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me some snacks before it starts.”

She looks cross, but takes some snacks from refrigerator and slams it down next to him.

He finishes the snacks and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me something to eat, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Eat and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

Hope you all have a good start with the new year 2010 (Twenty Ten).

Let us have fun with arithmetic, to derive 2010.

2010 = 1+2-(3-4-5)*6*7*8-9
2010 = 1-(2+(3-4-5)*6*7)*8+9
2010 = 1+2+(3+4*(5+6*7+8))*9
2010 = 1+2*(3*4*(5+6)-7)*8+9
2010 = 1*2*3*(4*(5*6+7*8)-9)
2010 = 1+2+(3+4*(5-6+7*8))*9
2010 = (1-2-3+4*(5/6+7*8))*9
2010 = (1+2+3*4)*(5-6+(7+8)*9)
2010 = 1+2+((3*(4+5)+6)*7-8)*9
2010 = (1+2+3)*(4*(5*6+7*8)-9)
2010 = 1+2+3*(4*(5+6)*(7+8)+9)
2010 = (1*2/3)*((4+5)*6*7*8-9)
2010 = (1-2-3)*((4+5)/6-7*8*9)
2010 = (1*2+(3-4*(5/6-7))*8)*9
2010 = 1*(2+(3-4*(5/6-7))*8)*9
2010 = (1+2*(3+4))*(5-6+(7+8)*9)

You can find lot more such interesting derivations at www.thesamet.com/2010.txt

What if the computers were never invented? We would still mean…

These are really interesting explantions for computer related terms.

Source : www.haukenfrers.net

Note: Few explanations could not be translated from Uzbek language.

One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan.

They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the dean said, they could have the re-test after 3 days.

They thanked him and said that, they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the dean. The Dean said that, as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

Click here for the question paper

1) Your Name (2 MARKS)
2) Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right

A for Adobe

B for Blue Ray

C for Canon

Can you complete the rest?

When I was going through my mail box, I found this forward mail which I received long back.

This mail is about the programmer’s reaction when something is not working. The list gave me a smile.

20. That’s weird.
19. It’s never done that before.
18. It worked yesterday.
17. How is that possible?
16. It must be a hardware problem.
15. What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
14. There is something funky in your data. OR It’s a data problem, not a program problem.
13. I haven’t touched that module in weeks!
12. You must have the wrong version.
11. It’s just some unlucky coincidence.
10. I can’t test everything!
9. THIS can’t be the source of THAT.
8. It works, but it hasn’t been tested.
7. Somebody must have changed my code.
6. Did you check for a virus on your system?
5. Even though it doesn’t work, how does it feel?
4. You can’t use that version on your system.
3. Why do you want to do it that way?
2. Where were you when the program blew up?

And the number one thing all Programmers say when their programs don’t work:

1. It works on my machine.

I too made a few comments that are in the above list

How about you?