Vijay For Victory

Learn Mathematics

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’

The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’

‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked

‘Yes,’ he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’

The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’

The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

Story telling

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of ‘Chicken Little’ to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ‘… and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’

The teacher paused then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that farmer said?’

One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ’Holy shit! A talking chicken!”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Image Credit : basheem 

Two Irish bought 2 Horses. To identify them, they cut the tail of the first horse.

The horse WITH tail is mine, and the hosre WITHOUT tail is yours. A cunning fellow cut the tail of another.

They got very confused.

This time they tie a belt to a horse. The Horse WITH belt is mine, and the hosre WITHOUT belt is yours. Another cunning fellow cut the belt of another.

They got very confused again.

First Irish told, this is the last identification… WHITE horse is mine and BLACK is yours.

Visiting the psychiatric ward, a man asked how doctors decide to institutionalize a patient.

The director said, “Well, we fill a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the tub”.

Visitor replied “I got it, a normal person would use the bucket because it’s the biggest”.

“No”, the director said.

“A normal person would pull that rubber plug that is there at the bottom of the bathtub”.

1. Whatever

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don’t want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. Anything

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn’t watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. You decide

Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don’t want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it… for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s have dinner first
Women: Whatever…
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting
Men: !ӣ$%^&*

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called the family meeting.

On a Saturday morning, after breakfast.

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So – what is the problem? We all use our work telephones!!!