How easy is to do business? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’

The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’

‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked

‘Yes,’ he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’

The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’

The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

Story telling

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of ‘Chicken Little’ to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ‘… and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’

The teacher paused then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that farmer said?’

One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ’Holy shit! A talking chicken!”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Image Credit : basheem 

Heights of innocence is originally published by Vijay For Victory

The horse WITH tail is mine, and the hosre WITHOUT tail is yours. A cunning fellow cut the tail of another.

They got very confused.

This time they tie a belt to a horse. The Horse WITH belt is mine, and the hosre WITHOUT belt is yours. Another cunning fellow cut the belt of another.

They got very confused again.

First Irish told, this is the last identification… WHITE horse is mine and BLACK is yours.

How to indentify the horse? is originally published by Vijay For Victory

The director said, “Well, we fill a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the tub”.

Visitor replied “I got it, a normal person would use the bucket because it’s the biggest”.

“No”, the director said.

“A normal person would pull that rubber plug that is there at the bottom of the bathtub”.

Are you normal or abnormal is originally published by Vijay For Victory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWtS-M5aHQs

Good husband is originally published by Vijay For Victory

1. Whatever

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don’t want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. Anything

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn’t watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. You decide

Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don’t want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it… for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s have dinner first
Women: Whatever…
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting
Men: !ӣ$%^&*

Three scary answers is originally published by Vijay For Victory

On a Saturday morning, after breakfast.

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So – what is the problem? We all use our work telephones!!!

Telephone Bill is originally published by Vijay For Victory

Que: What is JFC?
Ans: Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Que: Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture?
Ans: Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and auto rickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Que: I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
Ans: Send it through courier.

Que: Can I modify an object in CORBA?
Ans: As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Que: How to communicate 2 threads each other?
Ans: Non living things can’t communicate.

Que: What is meant by flickering?
Ans: Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Que: Explain RMI Architecture?
Ans: I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Que: What is the use of Servlets?
Ans: In hotels, they can replace servers.

Que: What is the difference between Process and Threads?
Ans: Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Que: When is update method called?
Ans: Who is update method?

Que: What is JAR file?
Ans: File that can be kept inside a jar.

Que: What is JINI?
Ans: A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.

Que: How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
Ans: I will give invitation.

Que: How you can know about drivers and database information?
Ans: I will go and enQue:ire in the bus depot.

Que: What is serialization?
Ans: Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Que: What is bean? Where it can be used?
Ans: A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Que: Write down how will you create a binary Tree?
Ans: When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Que: What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object?
Ans: If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.

Java Interview By Sardar is originally published by Vijay For Victory

Two days later she asks her father the same question.The father answered: Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed.The confused girl returns to her mother and says: Mom’, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were developed from monkeys.

The mother answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family while your father told you about his side.

Origin of the Human Race is originally published by Vijay For Victory

Be Specific is originally published by Vijay For Victory