Vijay For Victory

Classic response to iOS6 Maps

Image Credit : Ben

Learn Mathematics

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine…..’

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’

The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mum.’

‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked

‘Yes,’ he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in math?’

The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’

The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’

Story telling

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of ‘Chicken Little’ to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ‘… and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’

The teacher paused then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that farmer said?’

One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ’Holy shit! A talking chicken!”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Image Credit : basheem 

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor and said:

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only…

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first.

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man:

I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.
I get up in the morning like a horse.
I go to work running like a deer.
I work all the day like a donkey.
I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.
I wag my tail in front of all my bosses.
I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

Doctor: are you software engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are an engineer. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.

Que: What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
Ans: Terms are different. Nothing more.

Que: What is JFC?
Ans: Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Que: Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture?
Ans: Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and auto rickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Que: I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
Ans: Send it through courier.

Que: Can I modify an object in CORBA?
Ans: As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Que: How to communicate 2 threads each other?
Ans: Non living things can’t communicate.

Que: What is meant by flickering?
Ans: Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Que: Explain RMI Architecture?
Ans: I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Que: What is the use of Servlets?
Ans: In hotels, they can replace servers.

Que: What is the difference between Process and Threads?
Ans: Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Que: When is update method called?
Ans: Who is update method?

Que: What is JAR file?
Ans: File that can be kept inside a jar.

Que: What is JINI?
Ans: A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.

Que: How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
Ans: I will give invitation.

Que: How you can know about drivers and database information?
Ans: I will go and enQue:ire in the bus depot.

Que: What is serialization?
Ans: Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Que: What is bean? Where it can be used?
Ans: A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Que: Write down how will you create a binary Tree?
Ans: When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Que: What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object?
Ans: If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.