Vijay For Victory

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and loose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he has about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a cup of coffee before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a cup of coffee.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me some snacks before it starts.”

She looks cross, but takes some snacks from refrigerator and slams it down next to him.

He finishes the snacks and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me something to eat, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Eat and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do, said the Doctor, “Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“John, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!”

Moral of the story : The problem may not be with the other person as we always think, could be very much within us!

I dreamed I had an INTERVIEW WITH GOD.

“So, you would like to interview me?” GOD asked.

“If you have time,” I said.

GOD smiled. “My time is eternity, what questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you the most about humankind?”

GOD answered…

“That they get bored with childhood that they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money; and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they would never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

I just woke up and opened my eyes…..

It’s an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.

Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to his mind. 

He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather’s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed.  Now, very convinced of his grandfather’s idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said…..

Guess what???

…"You think only you have a grandfather !!!???"

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved all the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and spent much of his time exploring the seashores.

One day he learned that there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand. The day of the tide he went down to the beach and began picking up the stranded starfish and started tossing them back in the sea.

An elderly man who lived next door came to down to the beach to see what he was doing. “I’m saving the starfish.” The boy proudly declared.

When the neighbour saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you young man, but if the look down the beach one way, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look the other way, it’s the same. One boy like you isn’t going to make much of a difference.”

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up a starfish, tossed it back into the ocean and said, “I sure made a difference for that one”.

Image Credit : timparkinson

We have three stupid stages in our life.

Teenage: Have Time + Energy ; But No Money

Working Age: Have Money + Energy ; But No Time

Old Age : Have Time + Money ; But no Energy

Moral of the story : Have a balanced life.